On Second Thought...

I am not an avid blogger.  In my head I would like to be.  I think I am witty and charming on screen.  Because I'm definitely not in real life.  But I am caught up in living these days and less writing.

I have been working some extra shifts as well as entertaining five kids the rest of the time (which is a definite job in itself).  I am in constant reevaluation of my fitness goals, but getting much closer to the body I had only dreamed I could have (especially after babies via c-sections and then just being very "whatev" about my health).  This morning I looked at myself in the mirror without any clothes on and I didn't pick my body apart.  For the first time EVER I was proud of my body and the hard work I have put in.  I almost wanted to cry (but then there was some kid outside the bathroom door wanting to come in and I had to get ready for work).

As I write this there are a mere 4 days between me and 30.  THIRTY. When did that happen?  Seriously.  I mean, I can remember the summer I turned 20 like it was just last year.  Somehow a decade has passed and I'm left wondering how time has passed me by so quickly.

A lot of things have filled the last ten years:  2 marriages, one divorce, 2 big moves, 2 babies, 2 dogs... and so on and so forth.  Even when I think about all that has happened between then and now, it feels like the blink of any eye.  It just amazes me.

I like to think I'm a blogger, but on second thought I'm just a woman who likes to write about random stuff when I feel like it.  It's here to read, I won't be offended if you don't.  Or if you don't like what I write or if you don't like me!  The advantage to getting older is being more comfortable in your own skin.  I'm okay with many of the things that fed my insecurities in my earl twenties.  I realize that I can only control myself.... my thoughts, my feelings and my actions.  It's not about what other people say or do.  It's about how I choose to react.

It has taken a long time to come to this place.  Emotionally, professionally, spiritually and physically I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life.  Besides, 30 is the new 20.  I can't wait for all the fun to begin.